Thursday, November 4, 2010

Welcome Aboard

Today you will be removing your clothes.

Ladies and gentlemen. Captain. Seat belt.

Carry-on luggage. Overhead bin.

Be sure to wear socks that don’t have holes.

Flight attendant. Mobile phones.

Navigational equipment. 10,000 feet.

Choose shoes that slip off easily.

Tampering with. Disabling.

Prohibited by law.

Select an outfit without a belt.

Television monitor. Seat pocket.

Full attention. Safety features.

You will be undressing in front of other people.

Metal fitting. Loose end. Strap.

Release. Buckle. Turbulence.

They won’t care much how you look.

Emergency exit. Floor lights.

Inflatable slide.

They won’t slip tips in your waistband.

Air pressure. Decompression.

Firmly over your nose and mouth.

Just strip quickly and move on.

Unlikely event. Cushion.

Life vest. Pull firmly on the cord.

Keep nothing in your pockets.

Uniformed crew member.

Inform you when it’s safe.

Present your documents and think before speaking.

Seat backs. Tray tables.

Full upright position.

Avoid being ethnic.

Departure. Cross-check.

Relax. Enjoy.

None of this is personal.

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