Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Freeform homage


If I were you,
I could snap open the moment,
an impatiens seed pod ejecting dozens of tiny eyes
into the corners of this personal sensation
sitting here
as it happens now

one eye to watch a sky so inviting
through blinds beneath the eave,
an aching toward sunshine and the way breezes
open the throat to drink,
and colors rise in my face

one eye to fly up, to see the rolling surface
of land and sea, two to sink
into the depths,
drift from eddies to roots
to sky again,
dancing between terrestrial chambers
like blood through the heart's mansion and

the hallways between moments,
the causeways that plant you in plains,
and bog me in the marsh for now,
and roll us all up again
into one skypod

and the longing, the longing
the impossible
throat longing as though
to emerge burstingly
having burst,
to what?

to sky beyond sky,
to your seeing
and to seeing beyond you,
to the reverse of shutting,
to swallow, to stare
stretch and plode

proto-birth verb spasms
plosion
puls
pel



...

3 comments:

  1. Attempting free verse in homage to Scooter, with whom I have been poeming for more than half of my life.

    ReplyDelete
  2. As a subject of discussion, how do you know when a free verse poem is "done"?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good question about sensing when something feels "done." I was just wondering about this as I took the last portion of a nine-section poem that came to me last week and tried plucking it out and having it stand alone for a relevant response to this past week's prompt, in the poem called "heart lantern". I wanted to get across the sense that the wax and wane and enlivening goes on forever. But I just didn't like how it sounded to end on "forever" Sometimes this shows me I should just hack at it and end earlier. But after consulting with someone, that didn't seem right either. This happened in regard to another prompt that I wrote earlier in the season. It was the last line of this poem called coreshine: "opalescent, generative, possible." I felt in my body-knowing that there was something not quite right about ending on the word "possible." But I didn't know how to resolve it and wanted to avoid stalling on posting until it felt complete. Yet even now, every time I read that poem, there's something not right about that word, either because of how it scans or because it's not conveying the meaning (or both).

    For heart lantern, for now, the idea came to re-resonate with some of the core ideas introduced in the preceding stanzas, a kind of reprise. It's all an experiment. It still doesn't feel (a body knowing, the rightness of the heft of the words, really) "done," but it feels closer. Perhaps it more of an art of successive approximations. When the wisdom is complete/fully grocked, the poem will complete itself?

    Thanks for twenty-seven or ?? years of poeming, Daniel!

    ReplyDelete